read it if you want

maybe i should blog this out. something personal. tahan my english, i know. it has been 7 hours+ and you never send me a single meassage. seriously im very tired. from the begining i already knew that after we patch it gonna be like this. when we havent patch you say until very nicely that i will be your number one and you was very sweet at that time but once you got me back, everything change. its not same anymore. you told me is because of your Os but you dont seems busy? O.o i’ve been giving in and pampered you alot. have you treated me like how i did? peoples who dont know think im the one flirting around and breaking all the guys. do you ALL know my stories? you all dont know. words doesnt mean anything. you told me that you will prove, when? years? its impossible. 09/10/09, i was very excitied. i went home straight after my exam to bathe and wait for you because you told me “first month and first year is the most important.” you told me you wanted to watch a movie together. while waiting i text you and you replied “im going mac to have lunch with yk.” my heart sank immediately so i asked you, i thought we’re going out, you said you dont have the mood already. okay, nevermind i tolerate. everything i will just tolerate, what can i do? nothing. i dont like people to tell me this and that in the end means nothing. it hurts. i rather you dont tell me anything, i dont want words, i want actions. actions speaks louder than words. im always wondering why you will asked me back when i mean nothing to you. im like your toy, later let me go, later grab onto me. i told you alot of times how i feel but you’re still the same so i rather not to tell you. i cried at yk’s house just now. you will never felt the pain that i feel. sigh..